So you’re a little quick on the trigger. It really doesn’t matter whether it’s always been that way, (Type I Premature Ejaculation), or it’s a recent development, (Type II Premature Ejaculation). All that matters is that there’s frustration and discontent in the air. And it’s in both your partner and you. What are you going to do?
If you’re like many men, (or women for that matter, since many seekers after a cure are people who are seeking help for their partner), you might go to Barnes and Noble, you might go to the Library, or Amazon… you might go to any number of sources looking for a good book. After all, that’s where you find conventional wisdom right – a good book?
And the definition of “good book”, of course, is one that includes phrases like “time-honored”, or “conventional”, or “doctor recommended”. Maybe even a phrase like “tried and true”, or “clinically tested”. But there’s one problem with that – if these so-called premature ejaculation “treatments” were so effective, then why is it that one out of every three men still suffer from this problem? The unfortunate reality is that they don’t work. And I’m about to tell you why.
First, let’s talk about what you’re hoping to find in a cure. The problem is simple – as a man, sexually, you can’t last long enough to bring your partner to climax. (We’ll deal later with the statistical reality that up to 70% of women can’t reach climax through vaginal thrusting alone.) But there’s the problem – the man can’t keep thrusting long enough to bring his partner to climax. Therefore the goal seems obvious – the ability to keep thrusting.
Now let’s talk about what the normal remedy is for premature ejaculation. If you’re like many men, you go out and buy a “good book”, or you might even spring for a sex therapist. In either case, odds are very high that you’re going to get the same advice: “the stop-start technique”.
This treatment for PE involves either self-stimulation or partner stimulation, (and at later stages actual intercourse), and when the point of “ejaculatory inevitability” approaches, the man stops the stimulation, waits for the urge to ejaculate to subside, and then resumes. The idea behind the treatment is that the man is not sufficiently aware of his own body to know when orgasm is approaching, so that he can change or stop what he’s doing and allow the sensation to pass.
And honestly – this technique can make intercourse last longer! The man can thrust for 30 seconds… and then stop. Then he can thrust for 30 seconds… and then stop. This pattern can be repeated for 10 to 20 minutes without the man reaching climax. And for the man, this might actually seems like success.
Until we remember what the whole point of treatment was in the first place – being able to thrust long enough to bring their partner to climax. Now, ask yourself a simple question – if the man has to stop what he’s doing every 30 to 60 seconds, and then start up again when the urge to ejaculate subsides, is his partner EVER going to reach orgasm? Probably not.
The “Stop-Start” technique, even though it’s been around for decades, is predestined for failure. It can only help the man. It can help sex last longer, but in the end, it’s only going to be good for the man. For the woman, the 2 minutes of frustration is simply going to turn into 20 minutes of frustration. Is that better for her? Probably not.
The only real remedy for premature ejaculation is the one that going to cause the point of ejaculatory inevitability to be delayed, so that he doesn’t have to stop or change what he’s doing. That way the woman is free to reach orgasm, and everyone’s happy.
It’s not that difficult to achieve this cure. You only have to know what the real problem is. We’ll talk about that in a later post. Until then, keep trying. Never give up. The number rule to stop premature ejaculation is the simplest rule of all – NEVER GIVE UP!