Feet In Bed
The first time you sleep with a new guy, there can be a lot riding on it. Sex introduces a new intimacy and vulnerability to a relationship, or at the very least, it changes it. That first time, you’re giving him a preview of what’s to come. To make sure you don’t rub him the wrong way, here are the five mistakes to avoid making the first time you sleep with him…
1. Going totally porn star. Obviously you want to wow him, but you also want to leave some things to his imagination. When you first have sex, chances are you don’t know him well enough yet to introduce your kinky fetishes, your power porn positions, your bizarre outfits, your role-playing ideas, or your willingness to touch him in places he might not have been touched before. With time, you can introduce all those things and more, but for now, think baby steps. Focus on working out the mechanics first and get to know each other’s sexual likes and dislikes. Just like you wouldn’t reveal the depths of your soul on a first date, don’t reveal all of your moves the first time around. It’s just too soon.
2. Doing it unprotected. Same idea as the mistake #1: The first time you sleep with a guy you probably know very little about his sex habits. Depending on your relationship, you may not even know if you’re exclusive yet, if he’s ever had an STD or if he has reason to suspect he might. Having unprotected sex the first time you sleep with him is always a mistake. If the relationship progresses, you really trust him, and you think it’s really worth it, then you can decide to use other methods of protection (e.g., just birth control pills). But the first time you have sex, even if you’re using an IUD or hormonal contraception, always, always, always use a condom.
3. Acting shy the next morning. You’re a big girl, and you made a big-girl decision because you wanted to have sex. There is nothing wrong or shameful about that, and it’s no reason to act embarrassed the next day. Sure the morning after the first time can feel a bit awkward, but do your best to act just as confident as you were the night before. Don’t be afraid to kiss him, joke with him or cuddle. If you get out of bed, don’t act too modest about him seeing your body (he was into it the night before, remember). Don’t give him any reason to think things got weird after you had sex, and he probably won’t give it a second thought.
4. Overstaying your welcome. The first time you have sex with a guy, it will likely bring up a variety of emotions for both of you. Though it might be your initial instinct, don’t deal with those emotions by being overly clingy (just like you wouldn’t want a guy to be too clingy with you). If you’re at his house, spend some time hanging out with him in the morning, but don’t stick around all afternoon, especially if it looks like he’s trying to get on with his day and do other things. After you’ve gotten out of bed and maybe had some breakfast, tell him you have to take off, but that last night was a lot of fun. Leaving of your own accord shows that you have other priorities in your life aside from him, and that those priorities haven’t changed just because you’ve slept together.
5. Freaking out if he doesn’t call the next day. Most guys say they wait two to three days to call a girl. They do this because they don’t want to look too desperate, not necessarily because they don’t want to hear your lovely voice every night. Unless you usually talk to him every day, there’s no reason to think that just because you had sex you’re going to start. Bottom line: Don’t worry that you’ll never hear from him again if it’s only been a day since your romp and he’s been silent. If it’s been a week or two, however, feel free to freak out, egg his apartment, and unless he gives you a damn good excuse, consider him mistake.